This is a small poem pretty topical about plastic surgery
A SHOCK FOR THE DOC


Mary Ann went for a check up
At the clinic in the town
She said I have had a few things done
For that I’m pretty well renown
I’ve had my eyes pulled back a bit
And some skin’s been taken out
My nose had some attention
Then my lips I can now pout
Creases taken from my neck
And my boobs made bigger as well
A tummy tuck, that keeps me slim
I suppose that you can tell
The doctor said ‘I take it that’s all yours,
If down below I’ll examine if I can’
She said ‘well  there might just be a problem
‘cos I used to be a man‘.

A PANCAKE DAY POEM (A lost cause)

A LOST CAUSE

They’ve cancelled this years pancake race
Because of all the dangers it involved
This dangerous sport should now be banned
Until the problems can be solved,
Mrs Cakeworthy just last year stubbed her little toe
But she carried on to finish
How brave was that she let us know
Her sister fell and hurt her arm
They had to put it into traction
And more than that it was a tragedy
With her tossing arm out of action
Bill Arkright slipped upon a pancake
That some one else had dropped
He said that it just wasn’t fair,
The race should have been stopped
But Elsie Hemsup caused a stir
When her pancake dropped into her vest
And the vicar tried to get it out
And so did all the rest,
Granddad Dodson was the worst
His trousers round his ankles fell
They arrested him for flashing
‘Cos his underpants fell down as well
And when the race was over
And the Mayer’s thanks had all been heard
They all said he was a bit of a thanker
Or some such similar word,
So the pancake race was banned for ever
A less dangerous sport was found
There’re going to try a mountaineering race
But only on flat ground.

had a late night didn't finish show until eleven o clock had a nice email this morning from organisers

Hi David, Just wanted to lewt you know how much everyone enjoyed your presentation of poems etc. last night. Without exception the comments from our members on leaving was how much they had enjoyed the evening and the entertainment. Thank you once again, Pauline Iredale

Preparing to do a show tonight at Peterborough.  It's a private show, the Yorkshire society,  It will be a late job as I don't go on until Half past nine and I am to do forty five minutes.  The next show will be at the Oundle Literature festival on March the 14th at the Queen Victoria hall Oundle, anybody interested in going, let me know, entry is free

My New Book Collection

Mini Series

My Poetry Collections

Here is what I have been working on this week, creating my own poetry book series. All handmade by me!

Now available to purchase in my shop here> 

http://www.freewebs.com/davidgarrettpoetry/apps/webstore/

Only £3 each or all Four for £10

Hope you enjoy them.......

Maybe tomorrow I might share a preview!

Regards

Dave

My First blog post

Hi I'm Dave Garrett, I write and perform poetry at various functions.  I have done performances as far away as Lincoln and Newmarket, Nottingham and Northampton.  I do shows called Poetry For Everybody, at these shows I do country poetry, and lots of comedy poetry and usually have a good laugh.